Light in the Dark
You know, sometimes it’s funny. I named this blog “Winds of Change”, yet I had no idea how much change they would actually be describing. For that matter, I didn’t even fully understand the type of change that I would experience—would it be something that I changed about the community I’m serving in or something more introspective or personal? Looking back over the last year (plus a little more), there has been a flood of change of varying degrees and sorts, and usually when it is most profound, it is intensely uncomfortable while it’s happening; however, looking back after those intense changes, the most undoubting sense of accomplishment follows. All I can do is listen to that inner voice, the one everyone has, and do what feels right. Think too much, and there only seems to be more trouble.
I have truly come to the conclusion that love is what is most important in life. I’m not necessarily talking about love in a romantic sense, yet it certainly still falls into the category as well. It seems to me that people who always have love in the back of their mind as a guiding force do better things. It may sound overly idealistic or whatever you may call it, yet I in absolutely no way think that it is. In my own darkest hour, it always feels the best when someone genuinely cares enough to sit with me in my miserable state and just give me time of day, despite anything else that may or may not be going on in their life. Friends that feel like family. Seeing the joy on someone’s face when you make them a coffee in the morning, and set it in front of them on a brutally cold morning. Talking with the people you may not have seen for months or years, yet it feels like you saw yesterday. Or even getting that feeling that you have some deep, inexplicable connection with someone you have never even met before. All of these things are reasons that I can keep moving. When it gets hard, I have to stop and focus on the simple, little, sometimes nearly unseen acts of love that intertwine us all.
And yet it would be too simple to say that love is the only relevant force in the world. In fact, I would argue that our true tests in life come when this concept is challenged. As a volunteer abroad, it is sometimes especially clear that this is a test of our faith in love. We made a choice to leave the very people who have made our lives what they are today. This is a challenge for everyone involved, and certainly carries consequences. Living far away from friends and family (and friends who may as well be family), giving up some of the expected standards of a typical American life, be it income, social positioning, work ethic, or whatever else seems relevant here. The point is purely that delving into that dark place we all find ourselves at times, is the true test in our faith in love’s power to bring things back to normal.
It is here that we find the benefit of contrast. In the darkest place, one beam of light seems like the sun itself. Yet that same beam of light placed in a well lit space can nearly seem invisible, as it blends in almost entirely at times. In this, a point needs to be made. Just because it is harder to find the light in a brighter place does not change the intensity of the light itself. To make this more relevant, love may be more noticeable when things go bad; however, the power and force of the love is the same no matter how noticeable it is in the surroundings. It is only human to act based on what we can see; however, we must never forget how important any act of good or love is, no matter how visible it is to us at the time. This is especially important to remember when making our own decisions because it is just as important to do the right thing, even if no one notices. That little voice that leads to the gut feeling, yeah that’s where this comes in. Someone else may not notice, but you’ll know that you did the right thing.
For me sometimes the hardest part is remembering to take care of myself as much as the people around me. Something as simple as just pushing forward when it gets rough is sometimes just as difficult as being there for someone else in their own moment of need. Both actions come out of love, both provide a test, and neither is less important the other.
Change is essential. Change is vital. More than anything, change is inevitable. Might as well just embrace it and keep going.
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