Winds of Change

Zero to Sixty

This will be my blog about my own personal journey, starting with my Peace Corps volunteer experience in Namibia. So I guess I should say something on the order of: “Welcome” or “Thanks for joining me”, but really, if you’re reading, you’re here because you want to be, thus invalidating the whole point of a cheesy phrase.

Anyway, it’s hard to believe that I leave so soon, as I have less than a month ticking away, and there is still so much that I wish I could do before I left. More importantly, there are so many people that I wish I could see before I left. While two years isn’t all that long in the grand scheme of things, it is just long enough to make you think as if you’re leaving for an eternity. From time to time I remind myself that this is not the case, and in two years I will have a better idea of what can come next.

Until recently, I have felt like my life has been in a constant holding pattern, while I just waited for the stars to align. Yet now here I sit, and all the stars seem to be in a line. In a split second my life went from zero to sixty. I’m excited and nervous all at the same time, yet in different ways than I expected. It’s funny because for the first time ever in my life, it is so easy to pinpoint why I’m nervous about something. I am worried that my choice of career will hurt the people that are close to me because I will never be around, and at times may not even be reachable. The work itself will be fine, and I know that I can deal with the idea of leaving, but it’s harder for me to grasp the concept for those who get to watch me leave. It feels like I am abandoning the very people who love and care for me at every other important moment in my life. Yet, moving or leaving is not a concept which is new to me— in fact it tends to define who I am. I don’t know how to stay in one place. I thrive on adventure. It is my fear that this part of who I am (and trust me, it really is a part of who I am— I’ve been talking about this since I was five years old), hurts everyone else.

Despite my worries, in a few short weeks my life will be packed into less than 80 pounds between two bags plus a carry-on. These worries and concerns won’t fit. Namibia will be new and different, and a fresh canvas to start a new life painting on. I’ll be counting down the days. I’ll write more, I promise.